Bright and early this morning, like all mornings, I got up, got dressed and took Grant out to attend to his morning business. The only place to take him is across the street along the intracoastal. There is a nice grass strip about 4 blocks long bordered on one side by the Indian River Drive and a sea wall on the other. The only other places to take him are too far to walk so we have to take him in the truck.
Over the past several weeks we have noticed an older woman with long, gray hair laying bread chunks along the sea wall for the birds. An animal lover? Perhaps. The problem with the bread is that the birds pick it up and drop it all over, including on our site. This wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for our highly allergic dog. This morning woman was hard at work placing bread chunks along the entire sea wall. LOTS OF BREAD CHUNKS. She had a very large box of old bread and old black bananas.
The first challenge was to keep Grant out of the bread but as we walked along I though, why not just apprise her of the situation. Surely an fellow animal lover would understand.
I put on my best smile and walked up to her. The conversation went something like this.
Me "Good Morning"
Crazy Bird Lady (CBL) "Morning."
Me "I just wanted to mention the my dog has a lot of severe allergies and it's really hard to keep him out of the bread when we bring him over here."
CBL "This is the first time I have done this. I just got here."
Me "Really, you must have a twin." - said with a big smile.
CBL "I am a christian and I don't lie. What do you do, sit and watch out the window all day? The birds won't eat brown bread, they only eat white bread. White bread has no nutritional value"
This is when I noticed she was putting chunks of bananas along the sea wall as well. Bananas?
CBL "Is your dog allergic to bananas?"
Grant and I mosey away so he can do his thing when I notice she is picking up the bread.
I turned to her and said, "Please don't pick it up. I just wanted to let you know about his allergies and thought maybe you'd be willing to leave the bread toward the other end." I turn to walk toward the garbage can with Grant's bag. That's when I noticed she was following me and then the ranting began.
CBL "It's your responsibility to make sure your dog goes where you want him to. I don't lie. This is the first time I have done this. Lots of people put bread out here."
Now I regret ever having spoken to her and I'm wondering if she is going to light my hair on fire or something.
Me "This conversation is over!"
This does not stop her or even slow her down. I start to get a bit wound up and Grant picks up on that so he starts barking at her, which she clearly deserves. That's when another man comes walking up the sidewalk with his dog which send Grant into further fits of barking. All the while the Crazy Bread Lady is ranting on and on. I turned to her again and yelled this time.
Me "This conversation is over and do not follow me!"
CBL "You must be from the north."
That's when I noticed our neighbor standing across the street watching the whole thing. Well this is embarrassing. We exchanged good mornings and Grant and I went inside.
The more I think about it the more I find humor in the situation. The Crazy Bread Lady is clearly not rational but then I'm not very rational at times.